Blue Jeans

Do you remember when you were in third grade and first saw your teacher outside of school in blue jeans?  You had the sudden stunning realization that she did not live at the school.  Over a period of time, you came to terms with the fact that she had a family and activities that she participated in that didn't include you and your classmates.  Eventually you got into high school. You probably realized your teacher was real, but you probably didn't realize how real she was.  In fact, I discovered society saw a fabulous transition in me when I went from a normal person to a teacher.  This was not a real transition, unfortunately; it was an expectation.  I am like any real teacher though: I have flaws and characteristics that make me authentically human.  I have some secret blue jeans I wear outside of school; these are the things that make me real.

• I swear.  A lot.
• Sometimes I swat my kid in the back of the head.
• I eat popcorn as a meal.
• I make empty promises to God when my life or the life of a loved one is in danger and then I don't follow through and hope He understands.
• I argue with my parents.
• My teenager makes me cry.  
• I get speeding tickets and so does more than 50% of the staff.
• I make mistakes and don't learn from them.  
• I sneak an occasional invasive species into my garden.
• When money is tight, I let my dogs go without their shots and I don't buy vitamins for my kids.
• I steal the occasional pen that writes with just the right degree of ink from the bank or the doctor's office.
• I have a crush on my doctor and...a few other men.
• I definitely have no problem stealing this month's issue of "Rolling Stone" from the dermatologist's office so I can finish the article I started in the waiting room.

All teachers are real people, whether you want them to be or not.  The good news?  I always take the magazine back to the next appointment, and in spite of what people think, I don't take a mental red pen to anything except commercial sign-age and news articles.  In truth, I love your kid and my goal every day is to give him the power to wield words with competence and confidence in this great world.   I hope it's enough to get past the blue jeans.